she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize