Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Send help, water and tortillas.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So vagazzling was a success
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
