Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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