Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
