dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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