I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
