nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
