exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
