Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
