honey bunches of taint.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
