he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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