the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
only if we run a train.
done.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
