You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
