remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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