Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
