Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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