I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
