A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
