what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
