so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
