she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
