Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
