its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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