Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
