member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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