I want to have your abortion
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
