operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize