Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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