Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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