Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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