apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
