maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
