i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
they need to just BURY HIM!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
