Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Say something about gay babies.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
