I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
