Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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