our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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