No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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