you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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