well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize