Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize