But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
