I hope mine doesn't look like that
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
