please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
