well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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