And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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