i barfeds in our rink
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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