I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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