Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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