Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
