i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
