i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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