So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
