curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
