At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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