hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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