i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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