Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
