We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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