Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
