party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
