Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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