it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
